Ramadan has come and gone.
Syawal, too, has come and is going…
And that’s how long I’ve left this space deserted. Honestly I’ve drafted a couple of articles, it’s just that I never got round to adding pictures and publishing them. #ooops
But Eid Mubarak everybody! May our fast and ibadah be accepted by Allah swt, and may we all have the opportunity to welcome the beautiful month of Ramadan again next year, Amiin.
I felt like writing today, so I thought I’d share my (more like our) experience celebrating Eid as a married couple. I feel like it’s an interesting topic, because it’s an interesting feeling to me and I would think that there are newly married couples out there, or almost married couples out there who are wondering what it’s REALLY like going Eid visiting.
1. The first salam- salam tradition/mintak ampun dosa all with your husband is awkward (and surprisingly super emotional – well, for me at least #crybaby #maybeireallybanyakbuatdosa #itsonlybeen4monthscannotbe)
All my life during this time of Eid, I only cry when I salam Nenek, because… Well just because. And this year, I was able to withhold my tears when I salam-ed everyone. Except my husband.
A little back story, the plan was for me to salam him at his parents’ place when we salam-ed his parents and sisters. But #ultimatefail – WE FORGOT. LOL. So since we didn’t get to do it during the day, we decided to do it when we salam-ed my parents in the evening (cos we rendezvoused with my parents later that evening and started our visiting earlier than day did)
But when the time finally came for me to salam him, I started tearing and like borderline almost bawling my eyes out (Like as though got a lot of dosa in the span of 4 months being his wife?!) . And all this while we joked about this moment, yet it turned out to be more emotional than we imagined. The feeling was nice though 🙂
2. Planning ahead is KEY
You have two families now. Routes have to be planned before hand! Thankfully Khairun was fast enough to snag a good deal to rent a car during the first two days of Eid which made it so much easier for us to move around comfortably.
When you’ve got your routes down (i. e. Go to whose house first, meet where, what time then go where, what’s next) share it with your respective families so they know what to expect. That way, nobody will feel hurt, or disappointed. Or at the very least, you minimise the likelihood of that happening.
3. Be prepared to go EVERYWHERE in a short amount of time
Seeing that we’re both working, we had to make use of whatever public holiday time we had to hit all the important houses. I’ve never gone to four houses in four hours but IT HAPPENED. For a brief moment I actually felt like we were in the Amazing Race: Eid Edition.
4. “ARE YOU PREGNANT YET?”
No, I am not. But do pray for us! 🙂
Be prepared to be at the receiving end of this question A LOT. Especially if you’re not pregnant yet, you’re still trying, or you’re not planning to conceive just yet. Of course, if you already are pregnant then you can respond accordingly. For me, being just married for four months, the pressure may not be as much as those of you out there who have been married for longer.
I know this question is a very sensitive one for some- especially those who’ve been trying but Allah says it’s not your time yet, for those who are unable to conceive, for those who have experienced miscarriages.
I can’t speak for every wife out there, but I think it’s healthy to express how upset you feel (if you do feel upset or hurt) to your husbands. However, instead of responding crudely [to the person who asked you the question], urge them to pray for you instead.
There’s nothing a positive du’a cannot do 🙂
You all are in my prayers – pregnant, not pregnant yet, trying, not intending to get pregnant, recovering from a miscarriage, a new mother – Whatever it may be. You are in my prayers ❤
5. You will never get your weekends for the month of Syawal (actually for us it’s since we got married)
All free time during weekends are spent going to open houses, and hosting open houses… FOR BOTH SIDES. I feel like I’ve not spent one weekend just lying in bed doing absolutely nothing.
6. Outfit coordination is not as easy as you think…
Just because you have a pink outfit doesn’t mean your husband has a pink baju Melayu. (So you can’t wear your pink outfit)
Also, your shade of red may not be the same as your husband’s idea of red. For example,
Fail: Maroon vs. Red
But here’s two passes!
7. IT’S FILLED WITH SO MUCH LOVE
Even though we’re exhausted at the end of every visiting day, it’s just filled with so much love and fun.
I hope your Eid has been as fruitful as mine 🙂