Editor’s note: I drafted this two months ago, but only uploaded it now cos I wanted to wait for our wedding photos to share some of them here 🙂 All credit goes to our photographer, Dyn from Nafimages
Taking a breather from the wedding vendors and details, I thought it’d be great to share more about our solemnisation. When I asked on Instagram if you guys would prefer a video or a series of blogposts, many of you picked the latter. And one of the requests was for me to share about the feeling when I was about to get married – so here it is!
It’s a pretty long one so bear with me!
Leading up to the wedding, I always joked that I need plastic makeup because I know I will cry – A LOT. That was true. But I didn’t expect Khairun to cry at all. But he did – A LOT.
I’ll split this into three parts –
a) The day before the solemnisation
b) The day of the solemnisation
c) The feeling after being solemnised
A: The day before the solemnisation
This was the day that really sunk in for me that I was going to be someone’s wife tomorrow. I started to feel anxious (the good kind), and everything started coming together. The wedding trays, the bedroom, the door gifts, everything was in order.
Unfortunately for me, there was a bit of a hiccup with the event space but Alhamdulillah, everything turned out beautifully. While that was happening, I was panicking but I had to compose myself, call in my parents and my bridesmates to give me support. Throughout that nerve wracking period, I’m so thankful and grateful for my family and my bridesmates for settling the fracas for me (because I was bound to the house – Granny’s rules LOL). While I felt so useless at this point because I can’t fix things myself, I kept reassuring myself that Allah is sufficient for me. That I have to trust His plans – no matter what they may be. I did a lot of zikir, and deep breathing.
But like I said, at the end of the day, everything went well and turned out fine and that’s the most important 🙂
By the evening time, my family returned from the venue and my cousin topped up the henna on my nails for me. I was then tasked to sleep.
NOW, let me just tell you, that it’s not easy to fall asleep when you know you’re embarking on a new life journey the next day. I literally forced myself to sleep and I was surprised I actually did (with henna on!) !
B: The day of the solemnisation
Woke up before subuh to do Tahajjud to seek some calmness and serenity. Because it was in the wee hours of the morning, I was the only one awake. I really felt like I had a moment with God. And I let out all of my fears, doubts, sought forgiveness of all of mine and my parents’ sins, and I prayed so hard for His guidance in this new title I was going to be given. I cried on the prayer mat, just really feeling so small at that moment. That I am nothing without my Creator.
After subuh, I showered and forced some food in my system (So nervous and excited – HOW TO EAT?!) and my makeup artists arrived. Makeup application then started and I still felt nervous and excited, but Nora and Kak Lina are really funny and it made me not think so much about it. While Nora was applying my makeup, I didn’t have a mirror in front of me at all, so I couldn’t see what was happening. But after she was done, and they helped me into my outfit, she made me look at myself in the mirror and I was in complete shock, and awe.
I mean, I wear makeup everyday so I wasn’t expecting anything different. But Nora… She has magical hands and I absolutely LOVED the makeup she did on me for my solemnisation. And then when I was all ready to leave the house for the wedding venue, I looked at myself in the mirror and I took a moment to soak in the fact that in a couple of minutes, I’m going to get married.
C: The feeling after being solemnised
Our solemnisation was… Perfect. We were surrounded with the people that we love; the people who mattered most to us. My Dad solemnised the both of us. My parents in law were there to witness the solemnisation of their only son. It was an overwhelming moment for all of us and we wouldn’t have it any other way.
In the five years I’ve known Khairun, I have never seen him cry. But once we were officially solemnised, he just kept crying. It’s a side of him I’ve never seen before, and seeing him cry made me cry even more. For me the reason why I was emotional was because-
- I was scared that my parents would be lonely after I got married
- Khairun and I have been working so hard for us to reach our wedding day and we made it
- I prayed every, single, day without fail for Allah to see us through our intentions to get married
- I felt (I still do feel) that I’m a very imperfect person with flaws and still Allah continues to bless me with such wonderful people in my life… He blessed me with my husband and the feeling is just a lot
I don’t think I’ll ever find the right word or words to describe how we felt after the solemnisation. We’re finally married, officially husband and wife. I’ve never felt closer to Khairun (emotionally) as I do now after we’re married. I only felt this way when we were on our honeymoon but I’ll just share it here anyway – I never thought I could possibly love and care for someone more than I do my husband. I look back at how devastated Nenek was when Gaek passed away, and I understood why. Because after we got married, I can’t see my life without Khairun in it.
The feeling is indescribable and I always pray that anyone of my friends, family, readers, followers and subscribers who are intending to get married, will be able to feel this feeling I felt after the solemnisation. Because it’s such an intense, overwhelming feeling of happiness and joy. You’ll never believe it at first that you’re married, but you can feel it.
Every solemnisation will feel and mean different to different couples. But if you do it for the right intentions, In Shaa Allah, it will be a feeling you’ll never want to forget and that you’ll want to relive over and over again.
Alright, it’s been a pretty long one – SORRY!
Till the next one!