For someone who has put a lot of her life for the world to see, I’ve only gotten into trouble for being in social media, I would say, twice. Ironically, it’s not with the law (phew) or with employers/working related issues (phew again). Social media got me into trouble because of family.
Do I regret it [being in social media] ? No.
Funnily enough, it’s what I do for a living and I happen to really love it.
I understand the dire consequences of me even writing this (I might get into trouble-again). It’s a risk I’m willing to take, because I’ve spent over a year trying to find it within myself to let things go. And if this post will be used against me, please read on before making the judgement to slaughter and slap me left, right and centre.
I’m not here to ask for trouble. This is my platform, and I honestly think that people can benefit from this as well- not just with family, but with anybody.
Everyone talks about how to forgive people.
How you should just “let things go.”
How we all should “move past it, and settle on what’s important.”
And most of this is on friendship fails and fallouts, and breakups.
But I realised, nobody wrote a handbook or a guide on how to forgive family.
With friends that have been fated to not stick with you through each milestone in life, it’s either you become acquaintances or you simply cut them off. And because they’re ‘just friends’ cutting them off doesn’t seem so intense as compared to cutting family off.
I think that as a human, you will and should always have something to be sorry for/ to improve on. And if you deny this, then I have a question for you- Is there nothing that you felt that you could have done better?
In the context I am/was in, I owned up to my mistakes and admitted (to myself) that there were things I knew I could’ve done better. And I’m proud of myself for that. But I truly hope that people would feel the same way I do about it and think about how things could have been handled better.
But anyway, back to my point.
I had a conversation with the Lad about friendship and it was such a random conversation that led me to finding the peace within myself, that I so badly was searching for. And that also pushed me to finally write this. This was it-
“No matter how much I’m mad at them, I’m just mad at their actions. Not the person.”
I then told him, “I wish I could be like that.”
And you know what? I found that I actually can.
It made me realise that I’ll always be able to forgive not just family- but people in general. It made me realise that there’s good in everyone, and sometimes we make mistakes. What makes us grow and be better is to realise that there WILL ALWAYS be a much better way to settle misunderstandings. And that ultimately, we’re just mad at the ACTIONS and not the actual person. Perhaps it may not seem so for others. But for me, I treasure my family regardless of how much I’ve been wronged or how much I’ve wronged others. And this works for me.
I realised all this while I’ve been mad at the people who have hurt my feelings, it was just for awhile, and everything after that is just me being mad at what they did and the choices they made.
And that’s it. That’s how you forgive family. That’s how you forgive… Each other. And I hope you guys will find some comfort in this (if you don’t, it’s fine) just as how I have.