For this week’s #TSLEPAKBRIDESERIES, it’s more of a reality check and the “harsh truths”, from my perspective anyway, about being engaged and planning a wedding. I don’t hate being engaged or planning my wedding But I’m sharing with you that this is real, and not sugarcoated.
It’s intense as heck
This is just the tip of the iceberg. Under the umbrella that is “intense” are other factors that make being engaged and planning a wedding well… Intense. Five of which I will be featuring below.
You gotta let some things go. It can be anything. For me, it’s letting go of buying makeup every month with my pay. It’s letting go of testing out new products to review. It’s the idea that I will fall behind on the latest releases and beauty trends because I simply cannot afford to spend that much on makeup at the moment.
The Lad loves his gadgets and games, but he has to let go of that as well. We both love going out to eat, but this means we have to sacrifice eating at fancy restaurants and cafes and reducing the amount of times we have coffee at Starbucks or Coffee Bean, and reducing on eating Llao Llao.
For me personally, I’ve only been working for one year. I never get to feel the money I earn by getting myself something I really want. I’ve always wanted to reward myself after one year of working with a really nice bag. But with the wedding planning, I have to let that go for the time being because I need to set aside money for something way more important.
And I’m not gonna sugar coat it for you- it sucks. The feeling sucks. Especially when you’re trying your best to fund your own wedding with your own money as much as possible.
3. It’s tiring
It’s constant talk about who are we gonna meet next, and what appointments do we have. It’s weighing pros and cons regarding a vendor. It’s thinking about the budget, and if we can afford a particular vendor. It’s traveling everywhere to meet up with talented people whom we hope would make our wedding a memorable and beautiful one. And I don’t know why most of these places are so far away from where I work and live! T_T #icry
This should not come as a surprise. Your partner and yourself are not the same people with the exact same thoughts and opinions about everything. There will be a time when you will have some sort of an overlap. And well, you argue. I don’t like to argue with the Lad at all. Because it’s that amount of time wasted on being annoyed and pissed at him, when it could be used to be nice, caring and loving towards him. Besides, life is too short to be angry at people. But it will happen once or twice. Just make sure you sayang back lah!
5. Dealing with other people who are not funding your wedding
Suddenly everybody will comment on what you do, what you don’t do, and how you do whatever you choose to do. And suddenly people will start imposing their own thoughts and opinions on you because they think they are right. It will get bloody annoying and you will feel infuriated, but you do you. We are all not made alike. We have our own reasons, and ways of doing things. Likewise, we cannot expect others to do things the way we do. Which is why in this series, I highly stress that I’m not TELLING people what they should do. I’m sharing what I think might work, because it has worked for both the Lad and myself so far. The decision to take my words into consideration is purely yours, and yours alone. You may or may not agree with the things I share in this series, but hey, I have no control over you and your perception of things.
You will meet many people like this. I believe they all come from a good place, so as they say in Malay, “Sangka Baik.” Which basically means, instead of assuming the other people are being mean, think of it as something positive. I guess in this case- maybe concern.
6. Finding your way back to the main purpose of why you’re getting married in the first place
Amidst all of these things, sometimes we lose sight of what matters most. I say that it’s a hard truth because, it is. It is difficult. As humans we tend to get caught up on all of these material things. We need to always go back to centre and realise that- Hey, I just want to be married to this person… For Allah. With all the vendors, bridal packages, venues, finances and everything… Sometimes we forget the reason WHY we’re doing this in the first place.
As humans, sometimes we look in the mirror and we see nothing wrong, but there’re many things wrong with the way we think, act and speak. That’s why I think it’s hard, for me at least, to snap out of it and realise that at the end of all of this, I want to be Mrs Khairun Kamaruzaini.
I know I always show the happy side of things when it comes to the wedding planning process. It is- The Lad and I come up with silly ways to make the wedding planning fun for us (Like using our Evernote Moleskin Notebooks! Find out more about it on the Lad’s tech blog here!) But it wouldn’t make sense if everything is always 100% smooth. It’s not always a bed of roses, it’s not always rainbows and butterflies. We all had to go through some hard knocks to get to where we are today. And we’re happy.
To quote from Scrubs (my favourite quote ever!),
“Nothing in this life that’s worth having ever comes easy.”
PS: The Lad and myself are still pretty much lepak btw.
We spent more time playing with our gadgets and Evernote Moleskin notebooks than getting the wedding planning meeting agenda done for the day. #sorrynotsorry
#TSLEPAKBRIDESERIES is a new series I’ve decided to embark on. Basically it’s just me, T, sharing my experiences and the tips I’ve learnt along the way as the Lad and I start planning the wedding. Hope this series would be helpful (and perhaps entertaining) to some! And please make du’a for the Lad and I, as we will for all other brides and grooms to be out there 🙂