To my Fiancé
Nothing has changed. You’re still the Lad to me, and I’m still Tiara (actually, he never calls me Tiara unless he’s referring to me when he’s in a conversation with someone) / Hun / Sayang to you. What changed were our statuses, and the fact that I have to wear an extra piece of jewellery every day (Not complaining! :P)
It has taken me quite a while to absorb an fully understand the fact that we are planning/have the intention to nikah, or to simply put it- get married. Although we should really get started on the wedding planning, maybe people will scoff or gasp when they read the next line.
I don’t care about the wedding.
Why would people scoff or gasp? Well, simply because many brides-to be would care more about the wedding celebration, correct? I honestly don’t. A pretty big statement to say, and I will probably end up being a bride-zilla when our wedding date draws closer (I do want to be a relatively calm and collected bride-to-be, though. You know, just those relek one corner kind) I just want us to be solemnised and officially married to you in the eyes of witnesses, and Allah. Am I ready to be a wife? No. Will I learn? Yes.
Due to my extensive family ties and traditions (and my Dad’s many, many, MANY friends), I don’t really have a say (ok, maybe a bit) in how big, or small I would like my wedding to be. Being Indonesian by race, with a bloodline that originated from West Sumatera- Minangkabau, and having had a Grandpa Dusqie who was pretty popular back in the day, I have to succumb to the reality that our wedding (at least on my side) will be a big one. Furthermore, being an only child, they would want something grand (I’ve tried telling them I want an x amount of guests, my Dad said, “That won’t be possible!” Oh well). All of that would be a bonus, God Willing.
But back to the point, if I did have a choice, I would just want us to be officially solemnised and that would mean more to me than a huge wedding. Of course, I will let my parents throw their/my party, and I will be happy and incredibly grateful because it is a joyous occasion spent with friends and family. But essentially, I just want to be married to you.
However, I do want to emphasise that I may not be as domestic, or 100%housewife material in two years. I will not be able to cook your favourite chicken curry, or make you the best mashed potatoes. But I will try, and I hope you will give me the opportunity for me to improve in that aspect. I also hope you will give me the opportunity to learn to be a good wife to you, where I will learn to better support you, better advice you, better listen to you, better remind you, and better respect you.
Because, you will eventually, In shaa Allah, be my protector, my leader, my supporter, my best friend, my confidant, my love, my life… My husband.
And that’s all I want- for that day I get to call you my husband, and nothing else.
In Shaa Allah 🙂
I love you, and I’ll always pray for you, for me, for us, for our parents and families ❤