Life, Love, Rants and Rambles, Updates

UPDATES : Milestone, Quitting YouTube?

Abandoned this space for exactly three months.

My apologies. Currently on my holidays, hence me having time to write something decent here. I’ve been regularly putting up beauty videos on my channel, so if you are not subscribed yet, please do! (Haiz, self promotion) But i mean, only if you want to, and are interested in beauty, fashion and makeup stuff.

I have a couple of things to highlight in this post.

Firstly, Khairun and I reached another milestone 🙂 We ‘celebrated’ (There was no celebration, we just had brunch at coffee bean that weekend hahahah) our second anniversary.

Oh my, I can’t believe I’ve been with this bugger for two years. I would consider us an old couple, but I really don’t feel like it has been two years. Maybe like one? or 9 months? It literally feels unreal. Either way, I am thankful and blessed, Alhamdulillah. Here’s to many more anniversaries with this man, In shaa Allah.

I love you, Hun! ❤

Secondly, I’ve been thinking about where I’m going with this YouTube thing. For those of you who don’t know, I make beauty/makeup related videos on YouTube. I love makeup and I personally think that when used correctly, makeup is actually really clever. But that’s not the point.

I’ve reached over 100 subscribers on YouTube. When I compare myself to the other YouTubers out there with 500,000 or a million subscribers, or even 10,000 subscribers, I’m actually nothing. However, I feel like 100 subscribers is quite a lot. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate my subscribers, those who find my videos helpful and entertaining. It’s just that I don’t know where I’m going with this YouTube thing.

Many YouTubers end up making YouTube their career, and their livelihood. They earn money out it, and get many opportunities all thanks to YouTube. The only difference is that, they are either in the US or UK. Unlike Singapore, they are more open to such things in general. People over there can easily garner support from many people. Furthermore, their country is bigger than Singapore, which means that there’s a higher chance for more outreach.

Asian countries in general are not that open to things like these, in my opinion (IN MY OPINION OK.) I know that Singapore has many famous bloggers, but very rarely you find Singaporean YouTubers, or vloggers, other than my favourite, Munah and Hirzi. They’re awesome.

The thing is, I enjoy makeup, filming and editing videos for my viewers. I really do. It’s something I kind of take pride in, and something I think I’m kind of good at. But I don’t know if this all will just end up as a waste of time. I mean, I’m thinking realistically, living in Singapore. I somehow wish YouTube can be my job just like other YouTubers.

I’m not saying I want to be famous, or I will be famous. I have no idea. But I honestly don’t know if I can handle being famous if I ended up being famous. Get what I mean?

I’ll be under the public eye, and all my moves will be scrutinised. As it is, I’m already putting myself on a boxing ring, giving people the opportunity to bash me up (figuratively). Thankfully, I’ve had nothing but positive comments on my videos, Alhamdulillah. But what if there were negative comments? Would I be able to take it?

At the present moment, I am still continuing to upload videos. But I think, there will come a time when I have to decide if this is really what I want. I started doing YouTube videos cos I wanted to help my friends who kept asking me how I did my eye makeup for certain occasions, and I just wanted to share what makeup I liked or didn’t like, what I would recommend to my friends, family and viewers…

So yeah, I admit, I am reevaluating my life with regards to me being an open beauty enthusiast.

Nevertheless, I will definitely update again, should I decide to continue or not continue this YouTube journey. Till then, I hope my subscribers and viewers will continue to find my videos helpful. And thank you for subscribing to my channel 🙂

To my Mum and Dad who still finds it weird I occasionally speak to a camera and tell them to keep quiet when I’m filming, thanks for just being there for me and supporting me. They know I film myself. and I know they think it’s weird. But they don’t say much of it. I guess it’s cos they’ve seen me work with clips and they’ve seen my works especially during holidays, or Hari Raya where I’ll make an annual video.

To my friends and family, who are really supportive of my makeup thing. For those who have asked me to help them do their makeup for any event, thank you for trusting your face with me. HAHAHA. And giving me the platform to practice doing makeup on other people’s faces.

To my Lad, who shed light to the reality of it all. The one who keeps my feet on the ground and the one who made me realise that I will have to rethink things for the future; Whether or not I will be able to handle the potential pressure that comes if I carry on with this YouTube thing. He has been nothing but supportive, but he is also a realist. I’m a dreamer. And to quote from Modern Family,

“There are dreamers and there are realists in this world. You think the dreamers would find the dreamers and the realists would find the realists, but more often than not the opposite is true. See the dreamers need the realists to keep the dreamers from soaring too close to the sun. And the realists? Well without the dreamers, they might not ever get off the ground”


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