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Another Chapter Closed.

So basically, this post is going to be about graduation/graduating/being a graduate/finally being a diploma holder.
A bunch of Thank you-s, pictures, probably some tears along the way while I craft this post.

I shall begin with the Thank you-s.

Firstly, my parents. (I edited this in Facebook and used it here as well heh)

So basically, these two people are my whole life. Sometimes I wish I could do better for them. I’ve disappointed them countless of times. I’m no genius, neither am I a prodigy. Sometimes I wish I was. But I’m not. Even so, they support me with whatever choice I make and yeah, they do make noise when I don’t do well in school or when I failed a test or when I don’t get a good GPA, they never fail to believe in me. Support me in my love for dance. Listen to my rants. Somehow they always see me as a person who can do better, even when I myself think that I can’t.

I love you Mummy, I love you Daddy. Thanks for believing in me even when I don’t even have the courage or the will to believe in myself. Thanks for not giving up on me and for your unconditional love and support. Technically, I live my life all for you even though you say I have to live life for myself and for my future. But I live my life for you, cos it’s the only way I can pay you back for the 20 years of love and support you’ve given me.

Now I would like to thank some classmates 🙂

Nabilah!
NABSTERS!!!!!

Holyshitwtfbbq we’re like officially graduates now!!! Can’t believe it’s been three years already. Dammit we’re so old. Anyway, (ok ni part sentimental ah so go with it k. Hahahahaha) thanks for being a great buddy throughout my three years in poly. All the lunches, the projects, the studying sessions, the nonsense sessions~ Hahaha. Life in poly would certainly be different if I didn’t meet you cos all the best laughters and jokes that I laugh at really really hard are the ones that we randomly thought of together. LOL.

I wish you all the best in your future endeavors and hope that you do end up becoming a teacher to help all the troubled youths in SG. Keep in touch and luck for your competition this Sunday!

Keith

It’s been three years since we first met. Okay, maybe a little longer cos we first met during DPA interview. Haha. Look where we are now. I kinda can’t believe it cos it felt like just yesterday we were starting out in our DPA class, Ele.

The past three years have been very interesting for me (HAHAH) and you have been one of my closest classmates since DPA times. Basically, I really want to thank you for helping me out when I had to retake RMB after I failed miserably the first time round. If it wasn’t for your help, I don’t think I’d pass the second time round (stupid emil give me C. chet) Nevertheless, thanks to you, I really understood what I was doing in class and for my assignments and for the test. Also, it made me want to do the results section of my group’s major project even though I know that that’s not my strongest area, but I did it and I understood what I was doing! So thanks a lot for helping me. And also, thanks for all the times you proofread my essays and gave comments on how to improve them.

I wish you all the best in your future endeavors and jia you for NS!!

Next, I guess I’m gonna reflect on my life in TP.

As some of you may know, I did get a big fat F for RMB back in Year 2. That led me to retaking the subjects the next year. It affected my grades and my cGPA and I won’t lie, I contemplated on giving up in Psychology. I felt like I didn’t belong in Psychology. The pressure got to me. But I continued on, trying my best to get good grades. And well, my grades were average, but it was enough for me. I retook the subject, and even though I didn’t get an A in it, I did pass it and I understood the subject even more.

When Sem 3.1 came, my cGPA shot up to 2.93 from a pathetic 2.75 the last Sem. When Major Project season came, I decided to challenge myself by doing the results section of our project. Yeah, I know, very risky business; doing something I’m not good at especially for my final project. I did it, and I looked through all the data countless of times, making sure I knew what I was doing and keying it properly into SPSS.. Making sure I used the right statistical tests… I thought I was not going to graduate with a cGPA of at least 3.00. But I was blessed with great team mates and supervisor for Major Project. And now, I’m proud to say that I graduated from Temasek Polytechnic Psychology Studies with a cGPA of 3.01.

Some of you must be wondering why I’m so proud of my pathetic 3.01 cGPA. It’s cause, I think that I’ve felt what it feels like to get an F in an exam, in a subject. The fact that I challenged myself to do the results section of a research paper really makes me feel that I worked super hard to push my cGPA from 2.93 to 3.01. Dealing with SPSS is not easy. Dealing with data is not easy either. Applying the subject I took twice was the only way I thought I could redeem myself. And I did.

When I went to take my Diploma on stage, Mr Ben Lim congratulated me and asked me “Are you gonna be dancing later?”

It feels nice to know that the Director of HSS recognises my other talents and interest, which is dance. That, to me made me feel very appreciated. Even though I’m just an average student, but I was recognised by the fact that I entertain. I felt that I must have done something to make Mr Ben Lim remember me. And that’s where dance comes in- cos dance has the power to express things, emotions and feelings that words cannot. I guess somehow, in the many performances I’ve done for HSS or TP itself, I’ve managed to touch him with my love for dance, until he remembers me for that.

Lastly, I managed to take a picture with Mr Ang. He was the one who interviewed me for DPA and I guess, had a part to play in offering me a place in TP Psychology. He knew that I struggled in Year 2 and didn’t do well. I was quite embarrassed at first, cos I felt that I kinda let him down. And then, on the final presentation, he was there, watching my group mates and I. At the end of our presentation, he came up to me and told me that he never expected me to take charge of the results section after failing RMB the first time round.

Today, as he congratulated me, he said “Congratulations, Tiara! You’ve come a long way.. From struggling with RMB, to becoming an expert in it (I’m not an expert la ok ahaha) and presenting and doing the results section for your major project!”

That just made me feel that I actually accomplished something here in TP.

Truth be told, I started my graduation day feeling very down and low. I felt that I wasn’t good enough for my parents and I wished I could do better for them.. Or be the ideal daughter who is hardworking and gets good grades. Of course, Khairun was there to hear me out.

“Every parent wants their child to be a billionaire. Today is not about that. Today is about you graduating. I’m proud that you are graduating today.”

“It’s self achievement. You want to be happy, or you want people to be happy? I don’t think you need people to be happy on what you’ve achieved. If that’s the case, it’s no self achievement. You’re doing it because you want people to be happy. I’m proud that you managed to get 3.01. And I feel happy for you. You cannot think about other people’s happiness darling.”

“I don’t know why you think the expectation of you doing better ends today. You have a life to live. You applied for Uni already, you’re not working yet… And if you keep comparing yourself to other people, you’ll never be happy. No matter what. What or who’s to say that you’ll never achieve things in the future? I think this kind of talk is only applicable if you know you die tomorrow, or there’s no more hope for you in the future or this is only what you can do. And it’s true that you have other talents. It’s not making you sound better. It’s just facts. The only thing I can relate to you is that when I was young, my mum always compared me to my other cousins… This and that.. And now my mum is proud of me cos I’m the most stable one. Sure I didn’t do that well in studies, but I make up for other important things. Maybe it would be the same for you? You never know what’s going to happen. But if you take to heart what other people say, you’re just reacting to what they say. And that’s all.Your life would just be a string of reactions. Nothing more. Secret recipe… Be contented, and care less about other people cos they don’t know better.”

What he said made sense, but I wasn’t convinced…. Until the end of my day.

So yes, I guess although he was only around for the last few months of my life in TP, I have to thank Khairun for always being there to slap me (not literally) when I’m being unreasonable with myself, or when I don’t give myself enough credit. For opening up my eyes to see that there are endless possibilities out there and to always remind me that I’m more than what I give myself credit for.

Syukur Alhamdulillah, Praises to God. I am now a graduate of Temasek Polytechnic. I now have a Diploma in Psychology Studies. If I didn’t mention you in my post, don’t worry. Because I think that everyone who got to know me had a part to play in my life and journey in TP. And I thank you for that.

 And that, my friends, marks the closure of another chapter in my life- My TP Experience.

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