I was clicking away a while ago and I realised that it has been 4 years since I started my WordPress! So I decided to read some posts from way back in 2008, and some random posts from 2009, 2010 and 2011. I have my very own time machine right here!
Well, I’d have to admit that 16 year old me would never have thought she’d become the 20 year old me. I think that back when I was 16, I really thought that was the peak of my potential. And for a 16 year old, I handled quite a lot of things. And then fast forward to the present, I think my 16 year old self would be amazed. Cause face it, I’m a freaking badass la. HAHAHAHA. Well, this is my blog, and has been, for 4 years now so I have every right to say shit about myself- be it good shit or bad shit. Heh.
On a more serious note though, I know I’ve stated songs, lyrics, and peoples names in my blog. And should you google it, there is a high probability that you will get a hit and come here- to my blog. Maybe I’m being a little bit paranoid… Or insecure (?).. I don’t know what word should be used in this case, but in my head, I think I’m being honest (?) and safe.
Whoever’s name that you found in Google and led you here, most probably was once part of my life. There are no other ways to explain it. So here I am, admitting that yes, they were a part of my life or maybe they still are but y’know just as acquantainces, due to some reason that I would leave you people to decide what it may be. Hey, I’m sifting through 4 years of memories and experiences here, I can’t remember all of them.. Okay, maybe those that really changed me in a way or another, or had something to do with the matters of the heart. Nevertheless, be rest assured that those who WERE huge part of my life once before, are not anymore (Please, favour ah. Emphasis on WERE). I encourage you not to be paranoid in any sort of way (This is only applicable to those who actually feel paranoid.) If you are not, then good on you!
Secondly, you know how blogs are. Especially when you have been keeping it for the last four years. Blogging is like an online diary. A platform for me (And many others, who have apparently made money out of it) to express my thoughts, opinions and feelings about certain things. I take blogging seriously, I guess. And I cherish every experience that I have expressed in my posts for the last four years simply because all these experience that I have shared here are those that has made me grow; those that has shaped me to the person that I am today. Experiences are experiences. Good or bad, in some way, they make you a different person. We just have to hope that it makes you a better person.
Sorry, I digressed. Hahaha. But anyway, like everyone else, I can be erratic in terms of what I say, and how I say it. I only started writing properly and ensuring that my posts had substance only about a year ago (?). I’m not really sure. I won’t ask you to mind my younger self but yah, I’m sure everyone of us didn’t write as well as we do now.
And lastly, I have to admit, that whoever who is mentioned in my blog had a part to play in my growth. It doesn’t matter whether you are ‘active in my life’ or not, but still, I want to thank you for playing a part in shaping me to become the person I am today. I really don’t care about what has happened in the past- the good stuff, the bad stuff. We all grow out of it and we get over it. So I honestly tell you guys/girls, that there are no hard feelings.
I don’t know if I’ll keep this blog for life or something. Maybe I will, maybe I won’t. We’ll see.
For those of you who have been reading my blog, err, Thanks (?) I guess? No? Haha I have no idea. But yeah, as you can see, I am very happy, very blessed, and very thankful for how things have been going so far. Alhamdulillah. Praises to God. I have so many things to accomplish in life, I just hope I have the time! And of course, the time to talk about it here. Heh. So many things on my list that I have to get done. Like, get good results, graduate (wearing the robe and all..), get into a university, do well in Uni, graduate with a degree in either Communications or Psychology, get a job, save money, and of course, get married. I mean, I never thought about getting married and stuff. But I’m 20, and I guess somehow I have to start thinking about it. And for those of you who claim that you don’t, RRRIIIGGGHHHTT. Come on, especially the ladies, I’m sure you have some sort of idea on how your wedding should be like- regardless or not you’re in a relationship or not. My friends are single, and we have spoken about our future before.. Our future husbands, our weddings, our kids…. I blogged about this hahahaha.
I think, I kind of have a plan laid out for myself for the next 4-5 years.
- Get a job and start saving money
- Get into a University
- Do well in University
- Get a degree
- Get a full time job
- Learn how to cook like Daddy
- Learn how to take care of a household like Mummy and from Mummy
- Get married
Yeah, this is what I got from the top of my head right now… But I’m sure there’ll be more to this list soon. Especially in between. Note number 8, I have to. The Lad’s not getting any younger. BAHAHAHAHA. Whatever it is, degree first. Insya Allah. I’ll be able to attain all these. Amiin.
However, aside from the 20 year old Tiara speaking and reflecting on how her life has been since the last leap year (2008), I will not change this part of me where I’ll say what I want to say and be responsible for it. BUT, I am never, ever going to be responsible by how you perceive it. If you think I’m saying stuff that’s quite suggestive and apparently is applicable to you, then, okay. But please, leave your insecurities to yourself because I don’t think I am interested to entertain them. I’m sorry. I can entertain you in other ways such as hip hop dancing, lame jokes, funny videos, funny movies, funny TV series, the way I impersonate people, the way I tell stories and how exaggerated I can get while telling stories. But I cannot afford to entertain your insecurities. Leave that for other people who can, cause right now, I’m telling you, I cannot.
I’m still going to be the relentless Tiara that I’ve been for the last four years since I started blogging. Just that I’m a little older, and I guess nicer (?) HAHA. We’ll see.
Till next time, comrades.
Here’s me wishing you a great day at work/school/home/wherever you may be.