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Lucky.

We all weep and get affected by the fact we don’t have someone special to call our own.

But we always forget that we receive so much love as it is.

I’m an only child. I grew up with my parents and grandma as my mentor. I have loads of cousins and I could/can click with anyone I meet. I never knew what it felt like to have a sibling. I had to learn things on my own. But the fact that I had many cousins diminished that loneliness.

I know those of you with siblings would be like “I’d rather be the only child. Having siblings suck!”
Well I suggest you treasure them.

Sometimes I wonder what’s wrong with me. Am I not girlfriend material? Am i not good enough for a decent guy? Do I push people away? And I look at other couples, I’d be happy for them, but at the same time i kinda wished I could feel the happiness they feel.

Today Abang Is took me out for a ride on his new bike (ok i wanted to put an exclamation mark here because IT WAS REALLY AWESOME but this is a serious post). And it made me realise that I shouldn’t keep wanting more from OTHER people. OTHER people leave you. But if there’s one thing I can count on, that would be family. I know they’d never leave my side (except some #sore people who cannot get over it). I know my family will always have my back. And don’t say the cousins on my Dad’s side. The ones in SG. I don’t recall them taking me out just for fun without me feeling super awkward and extra.

(side track)

Except Pakdang and Makdang. Cos Pakdang and Makdang ALWAYS treat me like I’m their kid. And I’d feel so comfortable and happy when I’m with them. Pakdang was like my second Dad. He was my favourite Uncle. He came with no other motives except to see Nenek (at that time) and see his brother (Daddy). He came out of love and not any other things. When Nenek passed away in Aug 2004, my world died. But to make it worse, Pakdang left us too in December that same year. My world died x2. I found out over the phone of his passing, I refused to believe it and I screamed in rage because it wasn’t fair that both my favourite people other than my parents left me. But what could I do? All this was written.

(ok back to what I was talking about)

Abang Is lives in freakin Jurong and I live in Tampines. He picked me up from my house and we went to orchard to catch a movie and he sent me back to school, which is also at Tampines, for my training. His cashcard money, his fuel, the movie ticket… He didn’t like complain (or at least I think he didnt. HAHAHAHAHAH). The most important thing was I had his company. For once, I felt that I had a brother. Someone I could count on, complain about anything to, advice…

And so it makes me wonder, why all of us always want more when we already have what we need.
Why are we all never satisfied?
Is it a human reflex thing?- To always want more?
Or are we all just… greedy?

If we are indeed greedy, then that’s sad.
I mean I speak for myself too. I always want more things when I already have what I need.
I guess we always confuse ourselves with wants and needs.
I just hope we don’t want too many unnecessary things that will not bring us any good at all.
And I hope that one day, everyone would just be happy, and most importantly, thankful to God.

PS: THANK YOU ABANG IS! WOOOOO! I still feel the wind in my face. HAHAHAHAHAHA.highlight of the week! 😀 😀

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