Growing Up.

I can’t deny that I can act like a child at times. Whining and complaining about little things. And I always want to have fun like every child does.

I may not have matured SO much, but I know I’ve matured.
I grew up.

I’ve grown to learn to put the past aside and concentrate at what’s happening in the present.  I’m over the whole “I don’t want to friend you” Phase. And I’m over all the petty shit that we all think is big but actually it’s not really that big. My way of living now is not to care about anything that makes me unhappy. Life is too short to be unhappy. Like okay, if people don’t wanna hang with me, then fine by me. I used to make that a big issue and that caused strained friendships. I GREW UP. I realised it wasn’t worth it. If it happened to me again now, I would just throw caution to the wind and not give a chicken shit.
a) i have other friends
b) i have my family
c) if i have no friends, I have Allah.
So whatever it is, I have nothing to lose, really.

I’m 19, and I’m tired of fretting over petty shit like these. I should be thinking and freaking out about my future. What I’m gonna be when I grow up. What I wanna do after my diploma. When I’m gonna get married. Got money to go Uni or not. Got money to get married or not. Can find boyfriend or not. I shouldn’t be thinking about the stress of losing friends, the stress of having none, the stress of not being in a relationship. These are all minor things that we all make mistakes of overthinking and fretting over it when in actual fact there is nothing to fret about at all. It’s all about the choices you make and how you want the outcome to be, really.

Question yourself this: What do you want out of it? What do you want people to say to you if you react? And What do you want to hear?

If you can’t even answer these questions and answer them right and logically, then there is no reason for you to think about it so much and overreact towards it.

Secondly, Relationships, crushes, eyecandies, liking a person, liking a person but the person doesn’t like you back.
I mostly find myself at the last one (Liking a person but the person doesn’t like you back). And to be honest, I’m the kind of person who will get affected if the person I like doesn’t like me back even though he knows that I like him. Catch my drift? I admit to that, but then again, I’m the sort of person who will let the person go. I will psycho myself and know that it is for the best and that if the person I care for is happier without me, then why should I deprive him of that. I respect him and his decision. Being upset is a whole other thing cos you can’t help how you feel.But accepting it and realising that it’s not meant to be is another.

I will not allow how upset i feel affect the guy and his decisions should he want to move on with his life to be with someone else. Like I said, if he is happier without me and with someone else, Why should I deprive him of that? Shouldn’t people deserve a right to be happy? Who am I, a mere human, to deprive someone of that? And if i really cared for him, why would I want to make him guilty by making him look like the bad guy and by making myself look like the victim? Why should I add unnecessary stress to someone I really care about? Is that really called caring for the person?

In this sense, I think at this age, we should all grow the hell up. Stop making yourself the subject and think of how the other parties feel. What if your actions or reactions cause unnecessary stress and unhappiness to others? Could you really live with that? Could you sleep at night knowing that you took away happiness from other people? The days of “I’m mad at you cos you knew how I felt about you and yet you went with someone else” should seize right now. We’re all at our late teens and we can’t brood over things like these.

We should stop thinking about ourselves for once when we’re caught in a situation. We should think about the others involved and how we can go about solving the problem/issue. If you are upset, you think the other parties are not? If you think they’re not upset, WHAT MAKES YOU SO SURE? I study psychology, and I can’t read people’s minds. Heck, it’s impossible. So what makes you think you can?

I’m sick and tired of being caught in a situation. And HONESTLY, these situations that I always find myself in are not worth my brain juice. Don’t get me wrong, I treasure those people that I’m caught in a situation with. But if I were to put myself in an outsider’s point of view, I don’t think it’s worth it for all of us involved to be so worked up. It’s not worth it for us to be angry at one another, and like give cold shoulders.

Life is made so simple, yet we all make it so difficult. Why?

Life is not what I thought it was twenty four hours ago
And I’m not who I thought I was twenty four hours ago


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