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Finally.

HARROW SEM 2.2

Lots of interesting subjects to do this sem. Heavy subjects too. Which I intend to do well for.
I’ve realised I’ve said things that I know I will soon regret in the near future.
Like

a) Can’t wait for dance trainings to start
b) Can’t wait for GEMS 6 training to start
c) I am going to pwn APIP2 and ace RMB (again) next year
d) Abnormal Psychology is fun
e) Assessment and Personalities is interesting
f) Health Psychology might be cool cos I can find out what illness I might get when I grow older
g) Child Psychology is cool considering the fact I get to observe a kid. Not in a creepy way.

Give me a month or two, maybe, if my predictions are indeed true,

a) AHHHH TRAININGS
b) HOW TO CONCENTRATE ON STUDIES?!? T_T
c) I CAN’T DO THIS SHIT
d) FFFFF UUUUUUUUUUUU.
e) WTF AM I SUPPOSED TO WRITE FOR THE INDIVIDUAL ASSIGNMENT!?!?!
f) GREAT. DIABETES, HYPERTENSION…. IT’S HEREDITARY!
g) THE AGE GROUP THAT MY GROUP CHOSE DOESN’T GIVE ME A CHANCE TO OBSERVE MY NIECE WHICH LEAVES ME WITH NO KID TO OBSERVE. FFFF UUUUU

However, they are just predictions… Nevertheless, I hope I don’t resort to my predictions. I want my positive attitude to stay. Insya Allah.

I just wanna say that I am very thankful to Allah. I feel very blessed. Because Alhamdulillah, I think my prayers have finally been answered. Allah gave me strength to move forward and never look back. All this while, I’ve tried taking that step to go on with my life and accept what wasn’t meant to be. Every time I do, I will look back. But like I said, Alhamdulillah, I don’t look back anymore.

It took me a long time to really feel this happy again. And I swear, nobody has a right to put me down ever again. I’ve suffered too much to be put down again, this year. And I pray that I will end 2010 with the best life lessons. I’ve been put down too many times, JUST TOO MANY FREAKING TIMES, to let myself be put down again by people who just love seeing people miserable. No. Not anymore.

It took me a long time to gather up courage and confidence to say this, and believe in it. And I won’t let anyone make me feel down. Finally, I got my 100% confidence back. I got my 100% smile back.

Heck, I finally got the heart to get up in the morning and dress up for school to look good cos I want to.
Whatever happened to me before, took away many things that I thought that were instilled in me. For the last 8 to 9 months I woke up everyday feeling like I did something wrong, but I don’t know what. I woke up everyday feeling like I never put in enough effort in anything and everything that I did. I woke up every single freaking day feeling like I was never good enough for anything and anyone.

But now, I wake up and I don’t think like that anymore. I wake up and thank Allah I’m alive. I wake up and tell myself that it’s a new day with new chances, experiences and opportunities.

It took me a long time to get here. I will not let other people put me down just because they can.

This is Fresh.
I am Fresh.

Peace.

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