I took a nap. And woke up feeling really low.
We were in the train. I was crying. Not cos we got into a fight. But I just cried. I took in as much as I could. At every opportunity i had, I’d give him a peck on the cheek or hold his hands really tightly or give him a hug. And while i was doing all these, I was crying. I didnt care that everyone else was watching. He just played along. He’d hug me back, and kiss my forehead.
Then I left the MRT train alone. I cried all the way home.
I guess in my dream, I knew what it felt like to be without him. I knew how it hurts to have lost him. I knew how it kills/ would kill me every day that our relationship didnt make it. And when i got into the dream, I took in everything i could, every feeling, every emotion. The feeling when he kissed my forehead, or gave me a hug. I took in everything i could possibly take to last me through for a bit. Cos I know that when I wake up, that’s all that I can take with me. A whole chapter of memories. And a whole chapter of undescribable feelings.