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I can’t do this.

I can hear my heart break. Over and over again. And everytime it does, I’d feel so empty. And I’d cry cos I cant fill that up. I’m scared to fill it up. Cos whenever I do, it’d be filled up with the memories that remain. And it’s the memories that break my heart over and over again.

Seeing him proved that I wasnt ready to look and him and be okay. It proved that deep inside, within all the numbness that i’ve been feeling, I miss him. Every day. Every hour. Every minute and every second. Every heart beat that declares me to still be alive. I miss him so much it hurts.

I dont know how i can do this. It hurts. It hurts so bad. I’m not strong enough. And I dont know if i will be strong enough.

“Because, he broke my heart! He— It hurts. I dont ever want to feel this way again. I dont think i could go through this again.”

– Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2

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