Though this post is titled strength, it’s actually about me being weak. haha.

I miss.

I miss the little things we do and the crappiest jokes we’d come up with.
I miss the long walks and the random conversations we’d have.
I miss having the feeling of really making you happy.
And I miss the look in your eyes when you see me.

I miss the way you’d argue with me and tell me my joke was lame.
I miss the way you’d smile when i’m all chatty and blabbering about something.
I miss going out with you, having ice cream or even just sitting at rooftops of malls and just talking.
And I miss talking to you like we used to.

I miss getting random hugs from you.
I miss sitting at the 3rd floor of the library and watching you read men’s health.
I miss watching you levelling up in my tap tap revenge thingy in my phone.
And I miss how you’d whisper “i love you” when i’m distracted by something.

I miss watching you play random games online, like chess, or the doodling thingy
I miss watching movies from your laptop in the library.
I miss how you realised that i freak out and feel sick whenever exams are coming.
And I miss watching HIMYM with you.

I miss going on adventures and dates.
I miss taking the MRT with you and pretending you’re my very own personal handrails
I miss going to eat with you
And I miss movie outings with you

I miss everything about you, everything about us. Every little thing.

I remember the first time we held hands, and the first movie we watched.
I remember the first time I went out with just you, and no one else.
I remember our little trip to Art Friend to get your art supplies.
I remember our adventures to Orchard Central and 313@somerset.
I remember how amazed you were at how delicious Gelare was.
I remember you tell me i’m pretty when i’m wearing my baggy tshirt and seluar batik.
I remember telling you i said i didnt like you in muscle tops when actually i do.
I remember watching you make your dad’s birthday present.
I remember when we’d stay up all night just talking.
I remember talking to you till sahur.

And I remember how i realised I fell in love with you.
And I remember how annoyed i was cos i couldnt spend enough time with you due to my cca.
And I remember how i felt when you watched me dance for the first time on stage.
And I remember when i told you how i felt about you.
And I remember how I felt when you gave me the yellow envelope.

And I remember what you said when i asked you why you loved me.

Everytime I feel like I’m lost, or when I feel like I miss you too much,Β  I open my file and find that yellow envelope. I read its contents and I know you’re not too far away. I believe you’re not too far away. I have faith that you are not too far away.

I miss you, Amlarfn.
I miss you so much. It feels even worse than when I went for a holiday.

And I love you. So much- that it hurts whenever I miss you.

We’ll pull through πŸ™‚ Insya Allah.

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