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Make it, or break it.

“Love is always patient and kind. It is never jealous. Love is never boastful or conceited. It is never rude or selfish. It does not take offense and is not resentful.”

Today I learnt something very important. Yes I admit I am rusty at relationships.
But after today, I now realise what it means to make one work.

1) Trust

You gotta have trust. You gotta trust each other. There is no relationship if there is no trust.

2) Communication

You gotta talk. You gotta have random conversations. You gotta think aloud (remember’s percog class with Dr Tan) there is a name for it, which i forgot. Whatever you say, must come from your heart. it must be sincere. dont say something that you dont mean. Nobody can read minds. That’s scientifically impossible. One thing about studying psychology, we realise reading minds is not possible. But reading behaviours can reflect on the truth. You have to tell each other how you really feel. You cannot ever expect him/her to know what you’re thinking and hope that subconsciously they’ll get what you’re thinking and do what you want to make you happy. It doesnt work that way

3) Words are just words

You have to MEAN what you say. You gotta PROVE what you say. Dont say i love you, but you dont show it. words can only go so far.

4) Actions speak louder than words

refer to 3) you have to show how much you love him/her. how much he/she means to you. everyone wants to feel appreciated. face the harsh facts that words are never enough. little things make the most impact

5)  choice

you have a choice. a choice to make the best out of it, or the choice not to. you have a choice to try, or give up. YOU HAVE A CHOICE.

6) never try to be someone you’re not

dont try to idolise something or someone. you are who you are. you can curb some bad habits (eg. clingy, whiny) but never ever try to change. cos when you do, you keep to yourself too much. you live in denial. you deny things that are true just to suit the other party. that’s being selfish. (refer to quote above)

7) confide in your partner

he/she is there for a reason. to listen to you, to talk to you, to be there for you.. what would they be there for when you dont tell them anything (refer to 2)

8) never blame

never put the blame on one another. it takes to hands to clap, and two to tango. both parties did their share of mistakes.

9) Admit the mistakes

Admit them. in my opinion, if one feels guilty about something or some reason, chances are, the reasons exist. if you just feel guilty, there must be something wrong. then TELL THEM. ask them whats wrong

10) Love

You gotta love him/her. you’ve got to want it to work it out. it’s like. a tagteam. if one is down, the other cant function. there must be the want to work things out

I’ve made my share of mistakes. And the only thing i can do is to learn and make things better.

Not I.
It’s WE.

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