Many times i have stressed over the fact at how difficult girls can be. Sometimes it irritates and annoys me at how i always overthink. But what can i do, I was born a girl. It is our nature to be the way we are made to be.
The monotony makes me sad. I treasure the time i get to spend with you- however short or momentary it may be. I refuse to say anything because I dont want to complain. But I cannot run away from the things i supress inside. It just makes me sad. I never doubt how much you love me. Cos I know you do. I understand. We all are busy, trying to do our best to bring our grades up. But sometimes it hurts, when i need a listening ear about something, and i feel as though you dont seem interested to even make me feel better. It hurts, yes. It feels as if you dont care that I might not be able to spend time with you at all for 2.5 months. It might be easy for you to say that we cant go out anymore cos of schoolwork and everything. But it’s kinda hard on me.
A friend reminded me that in a relationship, we have to MAKE time for each other.
I never ask for much. I dont ask for anything actually. If you say you’re tired, I’m okay. If you say you wanna go home and rest, I’m okay. When you told me we cant go out anymore cos of schoolwork, I’m okay. But if you only have time for yourself and for schoolwork, where does that put me? Am I not a part of your life? Okay maybe i’m not as important as studies, but like your soccer ball, or your EPL matches, I’m part of your life too. Why is that I dont feel that I am?
Sometimes I blame my moodswings? Or the fact that I’m a girl and I think too much. I know you love me. Like i said never doubt that. Not even one bit. And I dont want to compare what i’d sacrifice to see you even if it’s for a while.
I’m not asking for anything. I just need you to understand the things that you unconsciously do that make me feel a little blue. I’m not angry at all. I just feel kinda buzzed, that’s all. I love you so much.