For those who may not know me, well I’m a very proud Singaporean. Yeayea. Singapore’s hot… Filled with Kiasu people… Well I’m sorry to burst your bubble but check your IC and ask yourself where were you born. Unless those holding a blue IC la. But nevertheless, I had plans to wear red yesterday. Mum and Dad left home to visit Auntie Khairu cos her mum passed away in the morning. I didnt follow so i was supposed to meet them over at granny’s. When the time came for me to go out and strut my red-ness to granny’s place. Yes, i was in my red top, red and white vans, and my red bag and everything… suddenly. I did not have my keys. I was locked in.
Called mum. told her the situation. She started yelling at me saying how irresponsible i am for not keeping my keys. And where were my keys?
In my dad’s pocket.
My fault, no?
So eventually she hung up on me.
I was depressed.
I had no food. I couldnt show off my love for my country. I was literally celebrating national day alone. With no food. I felt so sad. A few minutes later granny called. Almost cried while on the phone with her. telling her how sorry I am for not being able to come and everything. She said it was okay and no one’s to be blamed. (at that point yah, maybe i thought she was right, but i beg to differ) continued watching the national day parade alone. singing alone. singing the National Anthem alone. Saying the pledge alone. Yes, my life was THAT sad yesterday.
at 1030 parents came home. Mum just dumped the food on the table and told me to help myself and clean up after. started scolding me again for not keeping my keys. and
WHERE WERE MY KEYS?
IN MY DAD’S POCKET.
Funny. cos granny said it was nobody’s fault but still my mum kept faulting me.
From the yelling about the keys, she told me to clear the dishes and started talking about shit that wasnt even related to me not having my keys and not being able to go to granny’s place.
“CLEAN UP THE DISHES AT THE SINK I DONT WANT TO SEE A MESS. I’M NOT A MAID. I HIRED MY MAID TO CLEAR UP THE MESS FOR ME”
Started rambling to herself. As she walked out of the kitchen
“CLEAN UP THE TABLE ALSO! SO DISORGANIZED! CLEAN UP YOUR WIRES AND ALL THE NONSENSE ON THE TABLE!”
And where was embak? At granny’s place. So i guess I was the maid.
I didnt even have the fucking appetite to eat anymore. Mum treating me as though i committed a crime for not bringing my fucking keys.
AND WHERE WERE MY KEYS?
IN MY DAD’S POCKET.
She carried on for the whole fucking night. Even when i was doing my work, she told me i’d been online since morning… until night… blahblahblah. BUT I WAS DOING MY FUCKING WORK! and then. she woke me up for morning prayers like this
“TIARA! WAKE UP LAH! GO AND SMAYANG SUBUH!”
Like psheesh. i couldve died of a heart attack.
And all of this why?
Because my keys were in my dad’s pocket. I’m not blaming my dad. Cos granny said it was no one’s fault. BUT WHY THE HELL DO I FEEL LIKE ITS MY FUCKING FAULT FOR NOT HAVING MY KEYS.
I just feel i dont deserve this treatment. And I’m sorry to the people whom I spoke to about my eventful day yesterday. I’m sorry for being boring and whiny and not fun to talk to. I might even sound pushy.
But on the side note, thank you Aziz, for in a way celebrating national day with me-
via sms that is (:
At least it put a smile across my face.hee.
I was buzzed that I’m not spending time with my parents to go for dance today. But oh my toes. At this moment, you have no idea how much I wanna get away from my PMS suffering mother. I love her and all. but this is just outrageous. she’s taking this too far. it’s 10:19 in the morning. I’m leaving at 11.