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the hardest part of living is just taking breaths to stay

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Talk about patriotism -.-

Today I’m no different. Still crappy. Still confused. Still in a daze. So apparently a girl is chasing after him.
But then again, Why in the world would i care? I feel like shrugging after re-reading that previous line about 2-3 times. Cos i really really dont know why.

The sudden relapse ripped a part of me. I knew yesterday was gonna bug me somehow. And it did. I just didnt expect it to be this bad. Msged little brother Rhel Aiden cos by 12 pm, I could have gone on hiatus. I needed to talk to someone. So i did. Right before i went in for class. It felt better. But the info i got inside class affected me when its not supposed to. So here i am, blogging these uncanny feelings. Which shouldnt bother me one bit. But like i said, i had this relapse before. I never expected myself to relapse again.

Something must’ve gone wrong. Something. It goes to show that whatever feeling i had for anyone else after the first relapse was just mere infatuation. So, what am i telling myself here? What am i trying to portray by saying all these? Somehow it would be impossible if what i meant by

“It goes to show that whatever feeling i had for anyone else after the first relapse was just mere infatuation”

was that my feelings never have changed.

I guess it never did change. After yesterday something was wrong. Because for all this while, maybe the feelings still linger within me. Maybe it’s still there. But i just didnt want to address the issue cos whenever i wanted to, something will happen, and i’d get disappointed and forget about the whole idea.

But the question is, how many relapses and disappointments would it take for me to erase that lingering feeling completely?

The picture’s still there, in my wallet; hidden in the midst of all the movie and theater play tickets. After so long, its still there. It’s still there.

 

Katie, don’t cry, I know
You’re trying your hardest
And the hardest part is letting go
Of the nights we shared
Ocala is calling and you know it’s haunting
But compared to your eyes, nothing shines quite as bright
And when we look to the sky, its not mine, but i want it so

Let’s not pretend like you’re alone tonight
(I know he’s there)
You’re probably hanging out and making eyes
(while across the room, he stares)
I bet he gets the nerve to walk the floor
And ask my girl to dance, and she’ll say yes

Because these words are never easier for me to say
Or her to second guess
But I guess
That I can live without you but
Without you I’ll be miserable at best

You’re all [that] I hoped I’d find
In every single way
And everything I would give
Is everything you couldn’t take
Cause nothing feels like home, you’re a thousand miles away
And the hardest part of living
Is just taking breaths to stay

Because I know I’m good for something
I just haven’t found it yet
But I need it

So let’s not pretend like you’re alone tonight
(I know he’s there)
You’re probably hanging out and making eyes
(while across the room, he stares)
I bet he gets the nerve to walk the floor
And ask my girl to dance, and she’ll say yes

Because these words are never easier for me to say
Or her to second guess
But I guess
That I can live without you but
Without you I’ll be miserable at best

ladada ladada ladadaoh ohhh

And this will be the first time in a week
That I’ll talk to you
And I can’t speak
Been three whole days since I’ve had sleep
Because I dream of his lips on your cheek
And I got the point that I should leave you alone
But we both know that I’m not that strong
And I miss the lips that made me fly

So let’s not pretend that you’re alone tonight
(I know he’s there)
You’re probably hanging out and making eyes
(while across the room, he stares)
I bet he gets the nerve to walk the floor
And ask my girl to dance, and she’ll say yes

Because these words are never easier for me to say
Or her to second guess
But I guess
That I can live without you but
Without you I’ll be miserable
And I can live without you
But without you I’ll be miserable
And I can live without you
Oh, without you I’ll be miserable at best

 

What more can i say.

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