Last Monday, i learnt something in RISE lesson with Miss Liu. She taught us abouot the “I statement”. I thought that was really good. So i thought I’d put it to good use.
I havent been in talking terms with someone for a really long time. I regarded him as a little brother; Funny, jovial, crappy- yet, intelligent and witty. I enjoy spending time with him even though he gets in my nerves at times. Then we got into a heated argument. Maybe it began with me. All i know, i felt anger and i was really disappointed. Unfortunately, i let my emotions get the better of me and it strayed him away. I kicked him out from a position which i think he enjoyed being in. I kicked him out of something he enjoyed doing (So i think). Somehow, Since that day, i’ve always had the urge to pull him back in. But because of some circumstances, i wasnt able to excecute it. Days go by, slowly it seems to me that we were acting as if we never knew one another. I felt hurt.
Till today, that decision i made to kick him out, was the one thing i regret in my whole 4 years of being a leader. I wasnt being fair. I didnt give him the respect and i didnt even listen to what he had to say. I let my anger let loose and i lost myself. I remember the last words he said to me “What happened to you? you were always the sissy who’d always care for me, always be there for me. I dont know who you are now ” Maybe i cant remember the exact words, but i think it went something like that. it hit me then, but not as bad as now.
So i will put to use the “I statement”
I feel upset and disappointed when you chose not to act like a leader. Because i chose you as a leader for a reason. You have alot of potential; You’re funny, fun, happy… But most importantly, you’re a leader. I’m sorry I didnt talk to you nicely. And I’m sorry I didnt treat you with the respect. I should have talked to you nicely and gave you a chance to explain yourself. But no, I didnt and i just made that harsh decision, under the influence of other people. I wasnt aware of the fact that I was in charge then. And my decisions were the ones which mattered. Not theirs. I’d probably say this to you myself soon. I’m hoping tomorrow, because i cant live OR leave with the regret and guilt that i had set upon myself. I still treat you as part of the team; thats why i asked you to come down for the PSL phototaking. It was the least i could do before coming up to you and apologising.
I’m sorry, Dzul.
I’m sorry for being disrespectful to you and I’m sorry for making spiteful and abrupt decisions.
Peer Support Leaders
There might be no more. It might be closed down. but as long as Riduwan and myself are here, we’ll still chip in to ensure you guys do not mess up in anything. We will still ensure that you all with perform to the best of your abilities so that this organisation would still be here for years to come. But of course, we need your co-operation. Together with the new excos, we will pull through. The school still needs us; even more than the Rise champs. But first, we need to prove that we can be disciplined and yet, fun. thats why we’re special. We can be everyone’s good friends, with a gist of discipline. Therefore, make sure you guys dont wear ankle socks, and tight skirts, tappered pants etc. keep the image of PSL. Keep the image.