But though you were with me, I’ve been alone all along

I began my journey to leave the past behind. As the plane took off i knew that when i came back, I’m gonna be a brand new person. So i thought “This is it.”

The first day, we arrived at Bangkok and headed straight to the hotel to check in. Then we had our dinner at a halal restaurant over at Soi Surau- Masjid Darul Aman (In Bangkok la) After the scrumptious meal, we headed back to the hotel, rested for awhile and then headed to Suan Lam Night Bazaar. After which we went back to the hotel. The second day was spent at Chatuchak. Bloody hot and humid. Energy Bars sustained me. So cheers to that. Went to have lunch at MacDonalds after that- which we only ate fish. Continued with more shopping. The third day was spent shopping also. the fourth day was hilarious.

So, Uncle Fendy a.k.a Babatz got bored and bought this toy which looked like shit. yes, shit. and we thought of the most crappiest idea EVER. we got ready our videocam. and put the shit- lookalike on the floor, outside of a shop that the mothers were shopping in. and we recorded people’s reaction. it was damn funny la! like there were some people who were pointing to th thing and like avoiding it and all. LOL. funny shit man. hahahahhaa. That night we went to Suan Lam Night Bazaar again- at 1230 am (Singapore time: 1.30 am) most of the shops were closed. so we went there for nothing. BUT, we got a ride back to the hotel- VIA TUKTUK. SMACK! hahahhahaha. i was screaming my way through the highways! And this dude damn basket know. there was this point in time where we were going down a slope. He SWITCHED OFF the engines and WIPED his hands. Kauz. i was literally screaming my ass off la. but it was fun though. i needed a thrill anyway.

so the next day was a typical one. packed. the kids painted their nails- EVEN ANIQA. HAHAHA. I couldnt cos i needed to pray. The flight back home was at night. So here i am, back in Sunny Singapore.

in the plane on the way back home, i knew that i still had to face many cold hard facts. i knew that life was going to go back to normal. I cant stay there forever and run away from all the bullshit i face back home. I need to face them someday. So i did. The tuktuk ride really woke me up to the fact that what i had with it was momentarily. IT doesnt deserve to be called he/she/him/her after whatever that has happened. So, IT it shall be.

like the tuktuk, we all need a little thrill in life. Something that would excite us, or something that could make every step we take worthwhile. IT was my thrill. IT gave me an adrenalin rush that i havent felt for such a long time. IT makde me feel carefree and that nothing could stand in my way. I appreciated and enjoyed the ride like how i enjoyed the ride on the tuktuk. However, the ride had to come to an end. It had to stop because it reached my destination. Though i still wanted to get more of the ride, I couldnt. I sincerely meant what i said to IT. No doubt i enjoyed myself, but i came to realise that IT was just meant to be a thrill. Yeah, just a thrill.

So i arrived home yesterday night and i knew tomorrow was gonna be a different day. Different me. Different everything. My wish for my memory of IT to be erased can just remain to be a wish.

So yeah.
Its alright, I’m okay. I think God can explain.

Cheers to a brand new start =D


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