(middle finger moment)

Today was a happy day. what happens in vegas was top knotch, baby! and i talked to someone tht i have been missing quite alot. all the random outings, and swimming outings. yeah. so thats good.

i’m here, rushing my work. nenek is off to go for Umrah. sent her off. trained to changi airport after the movie with the girls. got back home and the rest of the peeps came over. so got company la. then now they’re all gone. as in, gone home. and i’m rushing to finish up SS. dang. classes start at 8 tmr. with chemistry as an opening. what are the odds. hahaha.

i cant take this anymore la ok. Now i really really wish and hope and pray that Allah would erase this painful part of my memory. its breaking me. it sucks. because its crappy. it sucks because i dont break easily. I;m hardcore and i’m the dope shizz. but no. this- i cannot take. this post is going to end in a vulgar way.

I cannot believe what bullshit i have gotten myself into. imagine yourself falling. yeah, on the way down, its all fun and dandy cos you’re on air. then you land on a great pile of shit. A HUGE PILE OF SMELLY, ROTTEN CRAPPY SHIT. and now u’re struggling to pull yrself out of it. but no, the shit just decide to be bitchy and just keep pulling u under. sometimes u wonder if u can tahan the fucking gross smell of the shit. then u realise u cant, and u know you’re just gonna break down. and u keep telling yrself that u can pull yrself out from the shit. everyday, thts what u do. pray that God will give u the strength to pull yrself out of the pile of fucking shit that u fell into. its hard. but u keep telling yrself that u can do it. so u just aimlessly keep on trying. everytime u think u’re okay, u fall again and again. until you’re fucking sick and tired of it. i’m not mad at anyone but myself. i’m mad at myself to have fallen into the pile of shit that i should have anticipated since the beginning. but no, i guess i was too blinded from all the joy that i received when i was on the way down to reach the pile of shit. talk about unfairness. i just didnt see it coming when i should have. dont be suprised. shit can disguise to be such charmers. up close, they’ll just make u drown in their fucking smell. yeah. and pieces of shit are all around u. u just have to wait and see. i waited, i saw. and wow. i’m suprised. i lost my respect for it. if i could show u how much i respect you, it would be smaller than the size of an atom, or a proton, or a neutron, or electrons for that matter.  so small, that even the best microscope cant see it. thats my respect to you- its close to nothing. and like shit. u come out from my ass. and drop right into the toilet bowl. thats how worthless you are to me. WORTHLESS. it stings, and hurts like fuck. but u know. shit happens. yeah. shit like you happens to gullible people like me. lesson numero uno, trust no one but yrself. lesson numero dos, beware of pieces of shit lying around trying to grasp your attention and serenade you with sweet words which in the end mean absolutely nothing. and lastly, you’re too good for pieces of shit. you need diamonds and pearls. not worthless crap shit like that. you always deserve better. always.

so thats that. i’m four eyed and i still didnt see it coming. wow tiara. u’re amazing. but you know what? FUCK IT. There’re beautiful gems out there just waiting to be discovered. beautiful ones who are way special-er than regular old shit. i know before all this bullshit happened, i totally said many interesting things about shit. how it clears yr system and stuff.

but that doesnt make me fickle. all of THIS, i have deduced from whatever has been happening around me. I’m not stupid. even though i made a mistake of being fucking blind, i’m still smart enough to guess whats happening in my surroundings. so dont dare say i’m fickle. cos from what i see. its the cold hard facts.

save your explainations. i’m sick and tired of everything. but most importantly.

i’m sick and tired of the fact that keeps slamming my face- I MET YOU.
but oh well. there must be reasons why things happen

oh and note: this post will only be a personal attack if u make it a personal attack. so whatever. literature kids, i’m sure u’ll know what i mean. THIS is what i call READ BETWEEN THE LINES. not some cheesy corny fucked up line.

nuff said.
nights, yo


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