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its falling apart

today i came to realise that whatever i see in those melodramatic shows on sensasi are actually true. I never would have thought the kind of events that happen in the dramas can actually happen to my family. Conspiracy, lies, divorces, greediness, a third party etc. you name it. I had a shock of my life today. What i thought was gonna last forever, didnt. I watched them get married, I was one of the flowergirls. They brought my first local singaporean niece into the world. But now, the wedding vows seem so rotten and meaningless. Slowly, my family is beginning to crumble. I just cannot believe all of this is happening to my family. Somehow, it affects me. I feel really sad. My family now, has a record of a couple divorcing. My jaw dropped when Mum told me what was going on. Daddy didnt want me to know. Now i know why. Somehow or other i feel affected.

She filed it. And to think that the idea of “the husband going around having an affair” were all just fictitious stories and are not true. Watching dramas where the husbands get bored of their wives and just go around having an affair. Pretty unreal right? And when you watch the show u’ll go “goodness. stupid husband. sheesh” but it doesnt even make u feel the pinch cos its not happening to you. but this time, i feel like i’m in one of them god forsaken melodramatic, exaggerated shows. i’m flabbergasted. its just so surreal. I’m 16, it doesnt really involve my parents (Alhamdulillah). and it affects my cousin, yet, i already feel demoralised cos it seems to me that my family looks damn broken. Imagine if a 6 year old kid, who’s so innocent, realises that her mummy and daddy aint living together no more. I’ve met so many people who come from broken families. And all of them have that sense of anger towards what their parents has done to traumatise them. And i cant see a 6 year old kid to turn out like that. but what are the odds.

i got a wake up call today. nothing comes easy. and there are, in fact, people who cheat, and lie and do stuff behind their partner’s back. We, as humans, can only plan. But God decides. There are people who are just like those characters we see on tv, cheating on their wives. going around having relationships with divorcees when in actual fact they have the most beautiful diamond that they call their wife. It’s true. It’s alive, and happening. And here we are, KIDS, CHILDREN, complaining of a failed boy girl relationship. When there’re so many things out there that are more serious than “my boyfriend cheated on me” or “i caught him with another girl” or “he’s contacting another girl behind my back” and you start crying. I’ve been there, i admit. but lemme tell you. all of that is plain bullshit. plain utter bullshit. being involved with someone isnt a big commitment as compared to a marriage. I’m imagining how she feels like. How she gets through her days knwing that her husband, cheated on her. When all we little girls whine and get angry that our BOYFRIENDS go contacting other girls. Imagine, spending all your money on the day that was supposed to be the best day of your life. And few years down the road, it all went down the drain.

As a family member, I’m gonna learn to accept the fact that it wasnt meant to be. But i will never ever forget a lesson learnt here. Always appreciate what you got. Appreciate who you have with you. Now when u need help, you come to people. But in any case, I’m still her flesh and blood. I just hope and pray that Allah will give her eternal strength and patience. Because being a Muslim is 2 things- Patience and Sincerity. this might be a blessing in disguise, i dont know. Wallahu’alam. But hopefully its smething good. I’m thankful to have my parents with me. I feel so blessed. They mean the world to me and i love them both so much. Alhamdulillah.

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