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International you day

I’m sorry that it took so long to write this
Song but i gave up
You see, one million words can’t describe how
It feels
To know your love

Where did I go wrong? I should have told you
From the start
That I’m closer than you think when
We’re apart
Nothing that I’ve tried is as simple as
This line

Without you my life is incomplete my days are
Absolutely gray
And so i try to let your heart know for sure
That i have so much more
To tell you every single day

I swear i’m giving up my inside to the one
That I adore
I know this world is big enough for you and I
But I’ll give you more

I’m coming home today to wipe the tear drops
From your eyes
I’m totally enamored by your life
Nothing that I’ve done has ever been for one

Without you my life is incomplete my days are
Absolutely gray
And so I try to let your heart know for sure
That I have so much more 
To tell you every single day
My life is incomplete my rights are
Absolutely wrong
So wake me up before you leave today
Something I need to say
’cause there will be nothing when
You’re gone

Yesterday mum told me how and why she named me Tiara.
My mum and dad got married 21 years ago. I could have been 19 by now, but it was hard for them to conceive. 5 years later, they were blessed with a zygote which was then later known as Tiara. If it wasnt for my parents who tried to get me, i wouldnt be here. And if it wasnt for the most lovable person ever, who prayed in front of the Kaabah in Holy Mecca so that she could have a pretty grand daughter, i wouldnt be here.

My mum loved pearls. Pearl in malay is “Mutiara” She decided to scrape the “Mu” and decided on Tiara. Dad thought it was really nice. And my late granny said in Arab, Tiara didnt have any meaning. But Tihara had, and it meant ‘clean and pure’ So they just took that meaning to describe me. Granny approved of Tiara and when i was born, that was the name my Dad put on my birth certificate.

Turns out why my mum named me Tiara was because, pearls are so rare and so difficult to find. Like me, i was difficult to get. But because my parents tried really hard, they found it- they got me. Insya Allah, I’ll stay as clean as how my name is supposed to mean.

I found what my mum said about me being really difficult to get is like dejavu. I remembered someone telling me that. He’s always there. Just not physically, but permanently seared in my memory. Will he appear again? Or will he just dissolve amongst the millions of people? Who’s to say. But in any case, I’ve got good ol Iddy to listen to my whines and my laughters and maybe my cries. Hah. And she’ll always tell me “SMILE, TIARAAAAAA =)”

One of these days, I want to plant daisies. And that plant will be mine. It’ll be my best friend. Start off as a seedling, but i know it’s gonna grow and be really pretty. Hidden underneath the pretty-ness lies so many emotions and so many feelings. Feelings that only she holds to herself. She’ll just keep quiet and keep smiling, even though she feels abit down. But she wont know when her time is up. So she soaks the sunshines and just keep on smiling. always.

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