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Saturday

I’m back from granny’s place. Had fun laughing at the voices we all made with the webcam facilities. HAHAHHA. kekek sia. slacked. makan2. talk to kak dira and wizzy. laughlaugh. hahhahaa. Tmr is exercise day. cos i’m off to run in the morning. and then rush back home to go swim. Woohoo. Insya Allah. 

Anyway. Upon reaching home i went to friendster and i started reading all my old testimonials from everyone in my contacts. and it almost made me cry. to think that i had all those before. the laughter, the joy, the companion, the trust. Now its all gone. I know i said i dont need it all and stuff. but you know it strikes me sometimes that these happen. and somehow it makes me like wonder where it all went. the one testimonial that made me feel like writing a post on this is this one

“KAKAK!!!!Come back soon!!!I miss you loads!!!”

and

“TIARA! I miss you sial”

I used to be so close to these guys. I treat them like my brothers, my pals. Now we all dont even look eye to eye on anything. I admit. I miss having a ‘brother’ Abang’s in JC and he hardly has time to come down to give me a lending hand. I know he’s always there and all but yeah. its kinda saddening. I’m aware of what people think of me. I know i’ve made decisions that have landed others feeling wronged and shitty. I wish i could satisfy everyone. I wish i could make decisions that are realistic and at the same time, not hurt anyone in any way. but thats the suckiest part in life i guess. There can be no way where u can try to satisfy everyone. I wish i could, bt i cant. even though how hard i try. I miss having a brother around. I miss having someone i can give support to, and give a pat on the back if he does something really good. I miss having to know that there’ll be a brother, a friend, to support you all the way, no matter what happens. 

Looking on the reality side of it. Its every man for himself. All my thoughts and opinions will never change anything that has been going around me. All i can do is just pray for them and hope that they get eternal happiness always. I know i havent been a good sister. And i mixed work and being a sister together which made it really hard to juggle both. But all i know is that i was sincere of being a good sister and a friend. I cant expect people to see things the way i do so i’ll just stop here. After tomorrow, I’ll be on full blast, revising and taking in as much knowledge as i can and applying it. I’m gonna do well for MYE and i’m gonna improve what i have to improve. 

Its the final lap of my secondary school education and its not going to waste. I promised myself and my parents. I’m not gnna let my parents and myself down. 

The final lap begins.

 

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