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You know I’m such a fool for you

Since the beginning of the year, I realised I have faced the most difficult decisions I could ever possibly make.
It seemed as if i was walking on the face of the Earth alone- until i realised who were the ones who mattered most.
I sucked at the matters of the heart. 

As i finished reading “The Notebook” by Nicholas Sparks, i looked back to a page where i thought meant a whole lot to me.
Here goes.

“Poets often describe love as an emotion we cant control, one that overwhelms logic and common sense. That’s what it was like for me. I didnt plan falling in love with you, and i doubt if you planned on falling in love with me. But once we met, it was clear that neither one of us could
control what was happening to us. We fell in love, despite our differences, and once we did, something rare and beautiful was created.
For me, love like that has happened only once, and thats why every minute we spent together has been seared in my memory.
I’ll never forget a single moment of it”

– The Notebook; Nicholas Sparks.

I look around and see that the crew was what it used to be back then. When we were all 14 and so naive.
But the only difference is….
Its complicated, really.
Everything changes. So i’d just have to accept it as it is.
Eventhough i hate it.
You know how we’d all go hme late cos of soccer matches.
And the girlfriends would secretly be cheering the boyfriends on.
And we’d all get all stressed up for the lame-est reasons.
And the girlfriends walking home with the sweaty boyfriends.
But that didnt matter did it?
Bummed that there might never be another day where we’d just walk out as ONE.

I want that happy feeling back. That feeling when you know your friends would ALWAYS be there to watch your back and look out for you.
Exchange cheesy and corny and lame jokes which arent worth laughing at but you still do cos its funny.
There’re so many things i wish i would like to experience again.
So many that i would treasure if i knew it would all end up this way.
Turning back time is something that no one is able to do.
All we can afford to do is just reminisce, and smile of what we had.
Somehow i still wish. I hope and pray for a miracle to happen.
And it has been proven that I’m not the only one feeling like THIS.
Like, we lost it all. All the 2-3 years of bonding and building a stronger relationship with each other.
That just sucks mediocre.
I dont know about the other people, but i admit, i feel sad that we cant look at each other  in the eye and feel happy cos we have each other.
And for the fact that everything looks back to normal like how it used to be like while we were swinging 14
just hurts more.
Cos there IS a difference. Like, something’s missing. There used to be something while we were all 14.
The closeness, and how everyone was getting hitched with the ones they wanted to be with.
Sial la. Thats something i cannot replace.
I dont expect anything in return from any of this cos anyway, it IS my blog.

Sadly, things do change. Dammit. Hahahhaa.
But hey, I had a blast having that bond with the usual guys =)
Smhw i still hope and pray I’d still be able to have that happiness between ALL of us in the future.
Yeah.

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